Which State's Plates?

This has been on my mind lately, and for those of you who follow me on Facebook, you know. I don't like Utah's license plates. Now, I'm not really one for accessories (I don't think I've ever bought myself a necklace, I only wear belts to hold my pants up, you get the picture), but I do like the little touches that liven up my car's appearance. One of the things I was most excited for when I moved to Michigan was that they had just released a new license plate design. It has a light green and blue background and a picture of the upper peninsula. It's pretty, and I felt like it was the final touch to my already stylin' car. Coming back to Utah was a different story. The plates here are brown or orange. And even the special interest plates are boring! They're just white with a symbol of whatever group they support. In other states, special interest plates are all different. In Virginia, there was one with an autumn leaf border, another with a blue background and a picture of a cool land formation, another with the Chesapeake bay, some with flowers, birds, etc. If license plates are the fashion statement of a car, Utah provides basically a burlap sack dress. The plates are so boring and flatter very few cars. I wish we could pick which state to register in based on license plates. I'd have a tough time choosing, but some of the contenders would be Arizona's new clean air license plate (light blue with white fluffy clouds), Colorado's new plate (light green with mountains and a sunset, I think), Nebraska, Oregon (that green pine tree in the middle makes any car look good), and South Dakota. On the other hand, the newest Utah plate, with the brown band across the top and the blue mountain background, is unique. I think it would draw the attention of other drivers in other states, just because it has different colors than any other state. It's bold, and for that reason I like it. And I guess my car, being brown, is one of the few that can carry this plate off well. So I'll embrace it.

The way it should be

Last night I was watching tv with my mom, and a toilet paper ad came on in which a man discussed the results of a national survey showing that 72% of Americans believe the toilet paper should go over the roll. Now, as with most things, I have a strong opinion about this. The toilet paper always has, does now, and always will be correct coming under the roll. With so much of America clearly confused about such a grave matter, I knew immediately that, as a possessor of the truth, I have the responsibility to spread this truth across the country. So let this be the beginning of my campaign to right the wrongs of the toilet paper world! Toilet paper goes under! And here's why: when you're in the standard toilet paper-using position, you pull the paper in an out and slightly up direction. If the paper is coming over the roll, that action doesn't meet with any resistance to tear the paper, and you are likely to come away with more paper than you need. On the other hand, if the paper is coming under the roll, a pull in the out and up direction is contrary to the natural directional flow of the paper, and it will tear more readily. Therefore, it is more efficient, environmentally friendly, and sewer sustaining to place the toilet paper coming under the roll than over. I encourage all my readers who share my knowledge of the truth (that's all of you, now that you've read this post!), to do your part in bettering America, and educate your fellow citizens. Under!