Dear Coworkers:
To make our office environment more pleasant, please respect the following:
1. If you're involved in a conference call and you have a door, make use of it. If I'm not on your conference call, I don't want to spend that hour listening anyway.
2. If it's not a conference call and you're just chatting the afternoon away, still make use of your door. I don't need to hear about your friend's kids' spring break.
3. If you don't have a door to make use of, don't spend hours each day reading Yahoo news articles to your boyfriend over the phone and providing personal commentary.
4. And don't spend the rest of the day doing your siblings' taxes over the phone.
5. Shouting at spreadsheets on your computer isn't going to make them work any better.
6. Yelling expletives at spreadsheets on your computer isn't going to make them work any better. No matter how often you try it.
7. Yawning is not a spectator sport. It's not being judged for volume, length, frequency, etc. If your yawns (every 30 seconds, every afternoon) are loud enough to disturb your coworkers 3 cubicles away, they're too loud.
8. Same goes for sighing- especially the frequency bit.
9. If there's a particular food that makes you burpy the rest of the day, don't eat it. And certainly don't eat it every single day.
10. Since none of my coworkers will read this, sorry for being snarky here. I just needed to get it out.
7 years ago
