September (and part of October) 2019

The girls are having ice cream cones with their cousin at grandma's house 

 Here are the girls getting ready for prayer

Such a cute picture on a Saturday walk

Still getting ready for prayer

Just sitting around, eating apples 

Being goofy 

The speech therapist took this picture of Tille playing with her inflatable monkey

The last few weeks have been super busy with work and church.  I don’t think I mentioned this, but back in July I came to work on a Monday morning thinking everything was normal.  I was running the morning reports when my boss came into my office and said she’d been transferred to a different office and was moving to Connecticut that day.  She had to leave right then to meet the movers at her house.  And that was that.  I haven’t had a boss since then.  Most of the time, it’s great.  Really, really great.  I literally report to nobody.  But sometimes it’s not great.  My boss was the plant controller, meaning head accountant.  With her gone, I’ve had to take on several controller roles.  I’m not an accountant.  I don’t want to be an accountant.  In the MBA program, I had to take a few accounting classes and they were the worst.  So boring.  I memorized what I had to for the tests and forgot it all as soon as possible.  I think I’m just not a super detail-oriented person.  I just don’t care that much.  So when I have to do the controller tasks at work it’s never a good day.  Add to that the fact that I’d only been here 3 months when my boss left, and most of my training consisted of her telling me where a file was and telling me to get familiar with it, and it’s made for some kind of stressful situations.  We just had quarter-end and I had to struggle my way through a bunch of reports that I: a. didn’t know existed before, b. knew existed but had never done, or c. had been warning the higher ups for weeks that I didn’t know how to do and would need help, but didn’t get help.  Anyway, it made for some long days.  In the end, it all comes back to the fact that I don’t have a boss and it’s pretty great.  I can handle some long days.

Hattie and Tille are very gradually learning to talk.  The speech therapist set a goal for them to learn 2 words a week.  I don’t know that we’re meeting that goal, but they’re getting a little better.  They’re definitely more willing to try making sounds now.  They’ll babble to us and each other all the time.  And the few words they know are so cute.  My favorite is when they say ‘more’.  They have tiny quiet little voices, so they kind of just whisper “mooeah” and it’s the cutest thing ever.  They also say juice, please, mom, dad, buppa (grandpa), dog, hi, bye, no, ball, bubble, and a few others.  Every now and then they’ll say each others’ names.  Sometimes Tille will say ‘Hattie’, but it sounds like ‘YaYa’. So cute.

For as long as the girls can remember, for family prayer at night they’ve just cuddled in our laps while Matt or I prays.  But a couple weeks ago Hattie started sitting on the window sill to pray.  We’d say it’s time to pray, and she’d run to the window and get situated.  Now Tille does it too.

This last week the girls had their first time in nursery without Matt or me.  We were so nervous how they would do.  We talked to them a bunch throughout the week about how Mom and Dad were going to their own classes and couldn’t go to nursery, but they’d have each other there.  They always looked on the verge of tears when we brought it up.  But they did pretty well.  They cried for a few minutes at the beginning, then played really well, then got sad at snack time and cried for the last few minutes.  But overall, it was a success! 

Yesterday I was playing with the girls and Hattie told me she was going potty.  Both girls are really good at telling us when they’re going potty, but they never tell us before so we don’t make it to the toilet in time.  So when they tell us, we go and let them sit on the toilet and wipe and then just change their diapers.  So yesterday when Hattie told me, we went to the bathroom, I dumped her poop in the toilet to show her that’s where the poop goes, she sat on the toilet for a minute, and then she went back to playing.  Then Tille wanted a turn.  Now, I’m about to tell you more than you ever wanted to know and certainly more than Tille will ever want me to tell anybody about her.  Sorry.  Tille has a hard time pooping.  She poops hard pellets that look more like deer or bunny poop.  Not always, but usually.  We’ve tried all sorts of things, and sometimes it gets better, but its always comes back.  Anyway, last night when it was Tille’s turn, I took off her diaper and put her on her Elmo potty (Hattie will only sit on the big toilet, Tille will only sit on the Elmo toilet).  She sat there for a few seconds and said she was done.  When she stood up, there was a tiny pellet in the bowl!  We had an actual poop in the potty!  We had a huge celebration in the bathroom with hugs and high fives, Matt came running in to congratulate Tille.  It was all very grand.  Tille had a huge smile every time we mentioned it to her.  I hope this is the start to good things, rather than a one-time coincidence where the timing lined up exactly right.

August 2019

Holy cow, how has another month gone by since I blogged last?!  But I feel like I have tons of stories, so this is going to be a loooonnnnggg post. Ready?

First of all, Hattie and Tille are starting to get freckles!  It’s so cute!  They have a few light freckles scattered across their cheeks, and each girl has two or three on their arms.  I think freckles are the best!

Hattie and Tille are learning to lock doors.  A few weeks ago, I was making dinner, Matt was working at his computer, Tille was playing in the living room, and we realized Hattie was being pretty quiet somewhere else.  I went investigating and found she was in the bathroom with the door closed.  I tried opening it, but she had locked it.  It’s the kind of lock that’s just a button in the doorknob, and it unlocks by turning the doorknob.  So I said, “Hattie, turn the door knob, open the door, etc”.  I could hear her in there doing something and definitely not opening the door.  As a last resort, we can just stick a paper clip or tiny screw driver in the doorknob and unlock it pretty easily, but I was hoping she’d unlock it herself.  Finally, she opened the door and bolted.  I took one look at makeup streaks on the floor and cupboards and knew she knew she what she was doing.  Matt caught her as she was running away and gave her a scolding while I cleaned the bathroom and found a new place to keep my makeup.  A couple weeks later, we were at the cabin with some of Matt’s siblings. We were sitting out on the deck, and Hattie and Tille were bored, so we let them go inside and watch Sesame Street (we took an old tv up there and have it set up just with a DVD player, and we get a few kids shows from the library before we go up each time).  We didn’t think anything of anything, and went back out to chat and relax while they watched their show.  Eventually one of them pushed a button on the DVD player and the show stopped and they started crying. I tried to go in to fix it for them, but they had turned the latch on the door and locked it.  And the keys were inside on the kitchen counter.  We spent several minutes talking to them through the door trying to explain how to unlock it, but they didn’t understand.  Finally, Matt’s brother-in-law noticed that the front window is very easily removable. He spend maybe a minute unscrewing- by hand- a few little bolts, and the window just lifted right out.  Matt climbed in (it’s a big, waist-high window), and unlocked the door.  Kind of unnerving that it’s so easy to break into the cabin, but it was a huge relief right then.  We’re going to have to be way more careful about keeping keys on us or not letting the girls be inside alone or something. 

The week before that, our little family went up to the cabin just for the night to get some painting and other little projects done.  While Matt was inside hanging curtains, the girls and I sat out by the fire.  It was really quiet, and then we heard a loud crash.  We looked to the side, and a big deer was running through the meadow a few yards away from us.  It stopped and looked at us, then kept going.  When it got to the trees, it stopped and watch us some more.  It was pretty cool.  The next day Matt saw a moose as we were driving through the mountains.  I think that’s the most wildlife we’ve seen up there in one trip.

For their birthday, the girls’ cousin gave them some little purses that make sounds and have play cellphones, credit cards, keys, and bracelets.  I don’t love that they’re already getting into all of that.  But the next Sunday, as we were getting ready to go to church, the girls picked up their purses from the toy shelf like it was no big deal and put them on their arms and went out the door.  It was so cute!  Every now and then still when I tell them it’s time to get in the car, they’ll run over and grab their purses.  Their birthday was fun.  I made them a chocolate cake to look like a tree stump and we had an edible cake topper that was a picture of Masha and the Bear.  We also got an ice cream cake in the shape a teddy bear head.  It was super cute and the girls loved it.  Their grandparents and cousins and a few of their friends from the ward came and had fun.  It wasn’t really a party, just a get together with cake.  But they loved knowing it was their birthday and being celebrated.

A few days later we took Hattie and Tille to the Dr. for their 2 year check-up.  They’ve never loved the dr.  They get really nervous and usually scream from the moment the nurse starts weighing them until the dr leaves the room an hour or so later.  We braced for this visit.  We kind of told the girls what would happen and that we’d be right next to them if they got scared.  When we took them to the weighing station, they were clearly nervous, but held it in.  Then when it was time to get their heads measured, I reminded them that the nurse was going to put a funny hat on their head for a minute, and they nodded and calmed down and didn’t cry at all.  Then when the dr came to examine them we could tell they wanted to cry so much, but they did awesome!  They looked so scared, and they both took a few big gulps of air, but they were stoic.  The dr looked at Hattie first.  I think watching Hattie go through it helped Tille.  She saw that it was ok so she was fine when it was her turn.  We were all shocked how well it went.  They even opened their mouths when the dr asked to look at their tongues.  It was great.  Two weeks later we took them to the dentist for the first time.  We’d been getting them ready for weeks, telling them about the chair that goes up and down, and that the dentist would count their teeth.  They had us in different rooms.  The dental hygienist with Hattie seemed kind of no-nonsense.  Matt said they sat in the chair and Hattie lost it.  It was a scream fest until they were done.  Luckily, the dentist got a good look at her teeth because her mouth was wide open screaming.  I had Tille and our hygienist was great.  Tille sat on my lap, and just like we practiced, the hygienist showed her how the chair went up and down, then she showed Tille the different tools and let her push buttons to squirt water and air, and let her feel the polisher spinning on her hand.  Tille did great.  She opened when she needed to, sucked the vacuum thing, let the hygienist squirt water in her mouth, even let her floss.  And then the dentist came in and counted her teeth just like we talked about.  Hattie and Matt were there for the last bit of Tille’s exam, and Hattie was nervous for Tille.  Every time the hygienist or dentist got near Tille, Hattie would wimper and bury her head in Matt’s shoulder.  Hopefully next time they can both get the good hygienist.  I don’t want them to be traumatized at the dentist’s office.

A couple Saturdays ago I let the girls eat lunch outside on the deck.  They were really excited to not only have an outside lunch, but to eat at the big person’s table.  We were having a great time and the girls were doing really well (they aren’t great eaters, so anything to get them to eat is a plus).  As they were finishing up, a hornet came and landed on Tille’s plate.  I didn’t want to freak out and panic them, so I just scooted the plate out of Tille’s reach and we watched for a minute.  The hornet cut a piece of Tille’s turkey off and then flew away with it.  The girls thought it was so funny!  Tille couldn’t wait to go in and tell Matt about it.  We went inside and she went straight to Matt and said ‘bzzzzz’ and then made the sign for eat.  After she told her story to Matt, we got some crayons and coloring books and went back outside.  We were having a great time, until I saw Tille had a look of terror on her face.  I leaned over to see what was happening, and she had her milk cup between her legs and the hornet was back trying to get a sip.  We called it a day then and went inside.  Every now and then she’ll tell us the story again of how the bee ate her lunch and drank her milk.

Hattie has started doing sneak attacks lately.  I’ve been trying to get it on camera, but I haven’t been able to.  She’ll hunch over and walk around like she’s sneaking up on someone.  I don’t know why/when she started it, but it’s pretty funny.

Three weeks ago we were in nursery having a regular Sunday.  One of the bishop’s counsellors came in and asked if we could meet with the bishop right after church, and that they had lined up some ladies in the ward to watch the babies for us.  So we did.  The babies screamed as the ladies came and took them away, and screamed until we finished and found them outside a while later.  It was so sad.  I got called to be the Young Women president.  I was shocked.  I haven’t been in Young Womens since I was a young woman, 21 years ago, and from what I hear, the program has changed a little since then.  But I knew almost immediately who all my counsellors and advisors would be, and it turns out two of them were the young womens presidents in their old wards, within the last year.  So that’s helpful.  We got set apart last week and I’ve had A TON of meetings since then.  I think it will be good.  We have about 30 active YW in our ward, and they all seem pretty nice. I taught the laurels on Sunday and it went well.  I couldn’t believe how well they all get along, they all participate and make thoughtful comments.  Things have definitely changed in the last 21 years.  One of the things I’m most excited about is that our stake has rights to Camp Lamondi.  When I was little, our ward had tons of activities at Camp Lamondi, and it was always fun.  My first year of girls camp was there and I loved it.  I think I’m supposed to be reserving a spot for camp right now, so I’m looking into getting that.  Last week I went to my first YW activity.  The girls were learning a hula dance to do at a ward luau (more on that in a minute).  I had Hattie and Tille with me because Matt had a work meeting, so we were standing along the wall watching, but then Hattie and Tille started dancing with the girls.  They were going up and down and moving their hands how they were supposed to.  They were really good!  Matt and I have been talking since before they were born about getting them into Polynesian dance lessons, and now I think we definitely will.

Last night we had a ward luau.  As is the case whenever we go anywhere in public, Hattie and Tille clung to my legs the entire time.  All through socializing before it started, waiting in the food line, and then eating, they were attached to me (Matt was at work).  But after dinner, one of the ladies in the ward (who teaches Polynesian dancing) put on a little performance. Some of the other kids went and sat on the edge of the grass to watch, so I told Tille she could go watch with them.  She took no convincing and just went, which, if you know Tille, is shocking.  Hattie stood on my lap to watch for a minute, but then went and joined Tille.  Every 30 seconds or so, they’d run back to me and say “Mom!” and point at the dancing, and then run back.  After every dance, they had enormous smiles on their faces and clapped like they had just seen the most amazing thing ever.  It was so great.  At the end, the lady let all the kids come up and dance, and both girls got right in there running and dancing and having a blast.  I think it’s the first time, other than at parks, they’ve been willing to leave my side in public.  So much fun.

Oh,  I Always Remember More TO Say After I Sign Out . Last  Week Matt and I Dare The Movie 'The Peanut butter Falcon '. ItWas fantastic. You Should All See It. It Has Some Language But Not Too bad . AndI don't  Know What Is Up With The Capital Letters Suddenly. I Can't Get It To Stop. 

This is at the ward luau. You can see Tille running around in the middle with all the other kids

more Fun At The Splash Pad

look At These Cuties Reading In The Bath!

 And Reading After The Bath While They Watch The Neighborhood

these Are The Birthday Cakes We Had

tille Looks Especially Excited For Cake

here Are The Girls And Their Purses Going To Church (Tille In Front, Hattie In Back)

the Girls Are Enjoying Their Picnic Moments Before A Hornet  Came To Join The Fun

just A Perfect Saturday Morning

here's how Hattie Likes Playing In Water. ..

Vs. How Tille Likes Playing In Water (She's Playing With The Drips That Come Out Of The Faucet)

sometimes HattieDoes morning stretches with me 

the girls Went To The Dinosaur Park With Their Cousins Last week . Matt And I Were Both At Work So We Didn't Get Great Pictures.  This Is The Only One I'Ve Found, And There Aren't Even Any Dinosaurs . 

Hattie On The Left,  Tille On The Right On Their Birthday

July 2019

Seals and sea lions at the zoo

This niece is as tall as a female gorilla 

A few weeks ago we found this bug on our driveway. It was already dead and partially eaten, so I think a neighborhood cat must have left it. I included my foot so you could see how big it is, and my feet are pretty big!

Grandma and grandpa brought a cool swimming pool for Hattie and Tille. It's hard to get a good picture of them playing in it but they love it. 

One of our neighbors puts on a big fireworks show every pioneer day. It started a few years ago as a neighborhood party. Now he does it at a nearby park and thousands of people come. He gets food trucks and vendors and everything, but it's not s city party at all. It's still just his hobby party. This trailer was parked outside his house the next morning. That's a lot of fireworks!

This is the Japan section of the children's museum. It took a lot of negotiating to get Tille to move onto other areas. She really liked playing at that table. 

Here are Tille and Hattie playing at the police/ fire station at the museum.  Tille is on the phone in the below picture. 

Hattie is looking out the castle window. 

The girls love bears (because of Masha and the bear), so they liked seeing one at the museum. 

We've had a few more troops to the splashpad. It still takes a lot of coaxing to get the girls into the water, but they usually like it once they're in. 

We’ve had a busy summer so far!  A few weeks ago (June? July?  I don’t even know) Matt got free tickets through work to go to the zoo.  It was during the first super hot week that we’ve had, and it was hot!  But we had fun.  We took the closest in age and proximity Glauser side cousin with us.  I can’t believe how much the zoo has changed since we were kids!  They don’t have a lot of the animals they used to: camels, hippos, wolves, most of the wild cats, and lots more that I can’t think of just now are gone.  In their place, the habitats have gotten much fancier.  You can pay a little extra (we didn’t) to stand on a balcony in the middle of the Sahara exhibit and hand feed giraffes.  How cool is that?!  The seal and sea lion exhibit is really nice now.  It’s a huge tank with islands in the middle and big glass windows so you can see above and below the water.  The seals and sea lions kept swimming right past us and doing flips and dives right in front of the girls.  That was probably my favorite part of the day.  The otters also have their own big tank set up to look like a mountain river, and they were doing flips and laps right in front of us.  Most of the animals were sleeping the whole time we were there, but we still had a lot of fun and the girls still tell us about all the animals they saw.  I think they especially liked the elephants.  They act out drinking water with a long nose, and they like to tell us that the elephants have huge feet.

Two weeks ago we went to the Treehouse Children’s Museum in downtown Ogden.  I kept hearing about how cool it is and how we had to take the girls so we finally went.  It’s basically a big play house.  It has areas set up like different countries (Tille especially liked the play food and teacups in Japan), a play fire and police station, dollhouses here and there, including one room full of fancy dolls and dress up clothes, a computer area where kids could design their own super heros and make stories, a big castle set and stage, a forest area, and a big treehouse in the middle, where kids can climb and walk on suspension bridges.  The girls had a blast! I was really surprised by how much fun they had. I think we’ll probably get them an annual pass for Christmas this year.

Tille is really starting to show a compassionate side.  Anytime Hattie is sad or gets hurt, Tille immediately brings her a toy or her milk or a snack to help her feel better.  A couple weeks ago in nursery, two little boys had a huge falling out at the very end.  Matt was trying to console one while I had the other.  Tille, who I didn’t even know was paying attention, was suddenly right next to me offering the little boy a toy she had picked out for him.  And lately, as the girls get closer to 2, they’ve been having more temper tantrums.  If it gets really bad, we put them in their crib until they’re done crying.  Invariably, whichever one isn’t having a tantrum, starts crying because she’s sad her sister had to go to her crib and is crying alone.  And they’re always excited when it’s time to get sister out of her crib again.

Hattie is a really good helper.  She loves cleaning.  If she sees me with the broom, she asks for another broom or mop so she can help.  She’ll sweep little bits of dirt and then pick them up with her hands and throw them away.  Every day when I get home from work, she likes to go through my lunch box and put my dirty dishes in the sink.  And she likes wiping things up with paper towels or diaper wipes.  She also really likes putting toys away.  She likes to organize them and make them fit just right. 

As I was typing this all out, I thought of a few more stories to tell, but I can't remember them now. That's the main theme of my life right now. I can't remember anything more than a few minutes. And now matt is catching it. We went to a wedding last week in salt lake and left the present on our counter, we went to a bbq and left the hamburger buns on our counter, etc. That's our life. So far we haven't forgotten the girls anywhere, so I guess we're not too horrible yet.
Oh, I thought of one more story as soon as I signed out! Yesterday on my way home from work I was driving through downtown Ogden and I saw some guys setting up what looked like a pretty fancy production type movie camera. Not far off in the parking lot there were five or six huge catering trucks and a big tour bus for extreme makeover home edition. I thought that show went off the air years ago, but when I got home I looked it up and it's coming back in 2020. They said they were starting with 2 homes in Ogden, and they'd be surprising them the first or second week of August. So they must have just barely started. It was cool to see. 

June 2019

I don't know why this paragraph is tiny, but I'm typing on my phone and can't get it bigger. Sorry.  Remember a few years ago when I kept getting attacked by birds when I went outside?  It’s happening again! A couple weeks ago I was out for a walk with Hattie and Tille.  We were just rounding a corner when suddenly a starling started dive bombing me.  It never hit me, but it got awfully close a few times, and hovered above me until I was well out of its territory.  Luckily it didn’t get near the stroller, but I was still scared.Another day, I took the girls for a walk without their stroller.  The next street over from us has sidewalks, so I carry them to that street, then they walk the length of the street and I carry them home from the far corner.  Hattie stopped to look at something, then Tille stopped, so I stopped to see what they were looking at.  There was a cat hiding under a trailer watching us.  After a minute, it came out and walked right up to the girls.  They were petting it and it kept rolling over for them to scratch its belly.  Then they would bend down to the cat’s face, and the cat would bop them on the nose with its nose.  It was so cute to see them playing so well with it.  I’ve never seen a cat be so good with little kids.  They played for maybe 5-10 minutes, and then the cat went back under the trailer and we kept walking.  But as soon as we left, the cat came back out and followed us and they started playing together again.  The babies always tell Matt what they saw on their walk when we get home, and they were excited to tell him about that!

Hattie and Tille got their first haircuts a few weeks ago!  Matt’s sister has a tiny salon in her house, so we went over there.  There’s a Sesame Street episode where one of the characters goes for a haircut, and they explain the whole process so she’s not afraid.  We told the girls about their haircuts for a few days beforehand, and we showed them that episode.  By the time we went for the haircuts, they were acting out what would happen. Hattie went first. I sat in the chair and Hattie sat in my lap.  Julie put the apron on Hattie and she sat super still and stared at the mirror.  Tille went next.  She was a little more nervous and needed me to hold her close, but she did great!  Now, whenever we talk about Julie, the girls mime getting a haircut.  Afterwards, Matt had his sister shave his head for his summer cut.  I felt left out, so I cut my hair that weekend.  I wasn’t sure how short I would go, but at the last minute I asked my hair dresser if it was long enough to donate.  She measured it and said it was.  So she made a ponytail and cut it off.  She said she cut 10 inches.  I believe it!  My hair was longer and healthier than it had probably ever been, and now it’s just above my shoulders.  It’s so much better in the hot summer.  And, best of all, it curls enough now that when I feel lazy I don’t have to dry and straighten it, and it doesn’t even look like a swamp monster!  

We got our ‘cabin’ remodeled!  Matt asked his contractor friend if he’d be interested in camping at our place a few days a week for a few weeks to do it, and he said he would.  We were hoping to have it done in May, but with the crazy wet weather we had this year, they couldn’t even go look at the trailer until mid-May, and then they had other jobs to do first.  But they started around mid-June.  There were 4 or so guys who went up and camped 3-4 nights a week, building our cabin during the days and enjoying the mountains at night.  Our goal was to have it done by the 4^th of July, and they just made it!  The contractor called us as soon as he got a phone signal on his way home, at 8:30 the night of the 3^rd.  Matt and I went up the next morning, and my parents, the Bodens, and the Wildes joined us later that day.  I was really excited to see it.  I knew he would do a good job, I just wasn’t sure how it would all turn out.  It’s great!  He tore down the inside walls and redid them with a pine finish, so it looks really log cabin-y.  The floors are kind of a gray-brown wood laminate.  The kitchen has white cabinets, gray tile counter/backsplash, and new oven and fridge.  And the bathroom is wonderful!  When we bought the place, I was scared to let anything touch the floor anywhere because it was so gross, but especially the bathroom.  Think of the grossest room you can imagine, and you’ll almost be there.  But now it has a new bathtub, vanity, tile above the shower, new floor, new clean toilet.  It looks like a bathroom you’d have in your full-time house.  Such a difference!!!!  When we got home on Saturday, I made cookies and we took them over to the contractor to thank him.  He called Matt on Sunday and said he’d been so nervous that we wouldn’t like it, so he was relieved.  And then they spent about half an hour talking about all the possibilities for the other trailer on the land.  We didn’t touch that, but now they’re talking about moving it and connecting it to the main trailer, adding a bathroom, making a big game room, etc.  If anything, that’ll be a project for another year.  I’m so excited to have a place far enough to be a get-away, but close enough to be convenient.

Here's a video of the girls dancing before bed. Hattie has a shirt, Tille doesn't. Look how happy they are! At the end Hattie immediately comes over to me to watch the video. When they watched it they both laughed and laughed. 

Here's our annual family picture in front of provo falls in the uintahs. I'm holding Tille, Matt has Hattie, same as last year. 

Tille's working on her selfie game 

Hattie likes to play with the recliner at Matt's mom's house 

 Here are the during and after pictures of Hattie getting her haircut

And here are the during and after pictures of Tille getting her haircut. They were both so happy afterwards!

I caught the girls using Matt as a backrest while they watched their show. Their new favorite show is Masha and the Bear. It's a Russian cartoon translated into English. The girls ask to watch it by growling like a bear. 

Here are Hattie(front) and Tille (back) pushing their babies in the strollers before church

We have a little potty, but so far the girls just like playing with it. 

Here are the girls playing with the cat they met on our walk

On mondays a lady in the ward brings her girls over for a play date so Matt can go to work
She sent me this super sweet picture. 

Hattie and Tille sit on the bed while I get dressed every morning. This morning they cuddled up and pretended to go back to sleep. 

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